So, in one of my jobs right now I have an automated music system going on. Now, that on its own is not bad but it only plays 90's music. What is worse about that is that some of the music is by the Spice Girls. Now, if you thought T-Swi's lyrics bordered on non-sensicle ramblings of someone retarded, the Spice Girls might actually be lower than that on the intelligence scale. I mean, wow, how low an iq would it take to write that drivel.

So, I thought I would write about them and give everyone an update since some might be wondering what those dolds were up to since no one has heard from them in a while...

Whose-its Spice

No one even knows her name. She is the blonde that was always in the background that everyone ignored and no one talked about. She is best known for nothing except just being there.

As per the usual with her, no one knows where she is now either or why she is there, she just sits (figuratively) there and is there...

Whore Spice

Whore Spice has since had so much plastic surgery done she now appears to be more of a whore-ish looking doll than anything else. She has these fake titties that look so awful, she looks like she shoved two basketballs under her shirt.

She has since married some friggin' dongle player or some dumb british term for it or soemthing, I don't know and has some babies or something. I think she has had so much plastic surgery that not only do the babies look plastic but also have learned to digest the silicon they suckled while breast feeding.

Fat Spice

She is best known for taking off her clothes and posing her chubbed (at the time and at its best) body for all to see. At the time she only had a 30% body fat and now that number is dwarfed.

Fatty has spent her time pounding Little Debbie's by the pound. She typically will go through a pallet a day.

Snaggle-Tooth Spice

She still has not seen a dentist like is sorely needed. Each one of her teeth is out for itself and it creates caos in her mouth.

Very Scary Spice

 

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